Puke

So, I decided over the weekend for about the ten billionth time that I would try to eat healthier. I guess you know this means the gravy post will have to wait for an indefinite period of time.
Can we just talk about the frozen crap they sell and try to convince us is healthy? It is healthy, because you can only stomach about 4 bites, which is, btw, ALL they freakin' give you anyway. **Insert head banging smiley here**
Today, for example, I started out well. I had a bagel (no cream cheese) for breakfast and my usual 5 cups of coffee. Mid morning, I had a few chocolate animal crackers...yum. I thought," hell, this is freakin' easy..I can do this." Then, came the............frozen............entree. Puke. I had the Balsamic chicken "steamer" somethin' somethin' with whole wheat pasta and broccoli. Puke. Oh, you can be sure I choked all of it down, because when you're used to eating a cheeseburger or something else fried every day you are starving on a bagel and a few critters. There were, count them, FOUR tiny pieces of chicken about the size of a baby shrimp and about 5 tiny little broccoli florets, a whopping 15 scrawny little penne pasta pieces and maybe some sun dried tomatoes in some useless sauce. The best part of the whole thing was the dessert. A banana.
Portion control has never been one of my strong points and I have the girth to prove it. I have always just sort of rolled my eyes when "they" say a portion should be a half a cup. "They" are full of shit. That was a portion size to me at the age of 6 months. Oh sure, I went through that period of time when I was eating healthy, sensible portions and exercising my ass off. I refer to that dark period of my life as the "panic era". I was 40ish, not married, had two teenagers, a job I hated and virtually nothing to live for. So, I figured why not starve myself to death and if that didn't work, walk my ass off and just keep walking. You know, kinda like Forrest Gump? I came out of that little slump married and promptly gained 20 pounds. **More head banging smilies** But hey, I got a new wardrobe.......again.
Unfortunately, I stocked up on a whole bunch of these effing entrees in anticipation of becoming svelte over the next couple of weeks. So, I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow brings. I'm just gonna reach in the freezer and go for it. I can assure you it will be something like "Supreme Pizza" and it'll be the size of an ipod.